Earlier this year, around May Bank Holiday, I noticed a slight lump in my groin area. Fearing (gulp!), the big 'C', I called my doctor who recommended me to a specialist and after some pants down & coughing confirmed a Hernia, advising an operation sooner rather than later. So, last Thursday, the time came to visit hospital and get it sorted.

I had felt more queasy a couple of weeks ago when the date was being booked and they were going into details about where you have to be, stop eating/drinking at this time etc.

So I arrive, disrobe, have 2 nurses shave me down South (!) and wait, the vibe a bit Death Row, probably because of the recent Arnie 'terminating' Death Row's Tookie Williams news still fresh in my mind.

As I was wheeled into the 'theatre' (to perform?!!!), the mood changed to feeling like a well-looked after piece of human-cattle as I was gently branded with a black 'L' on my hand and 'X' on my left groin so Dr. O.J.A. Gilmore knew where to make the correct incision(s). The calm/cool anaethitist told me that I'd be out in seconds; after a euphoric nervous giggle I was.

When I awoke, I couldn't remember anything, no 'near-death' experiences that some claim though I was very evangelical to the nurse next to me, praising & blessing her repeatedly, then given some morphine to ease the pain. Back upstairs, Kate was there, greeted by me mumbling, "Hot Dog!". Sore pain as expected but relaxing nevertheless.

Obviously hospitals (& funerals) tend to give you a mortality check, possibly why I picked up on this mad site, 'MyDeath.Net' whilst browsing thru the current Dazed & Confused. While you're there, worth also checking 'Death Clock' too which guestimates how long you've got left to live!!!

Friday AM, I left after a night of spontaneous blood pressure tests, painkillers, an early morning briefing from the surgeon's assistant and a Physio explaining exercises I needed to do to aid speedy recovery.

Being positive, I'm now resting & relaxing at home in bed, reading loads of magazines/newspapers and now experiencing what it feels like to soon be a very old man with top speed about 2 miles per hour. Hopefully, with some help, I may very well make it to Pacha on Monday for my DJ date!!!

Oh, and if you want to send a get well soon/xmas ting; thanks in advance (!!)

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